BLAOW!!!
Praphit news, posts, games, and generally keeping in touch with us :
ON THE REG -
Soundcloud posts: (every other week)
- every other Thursday "That's Craptastic!" - praphitic ranting on pop culture and sports.
- every other Friday "Praphit Presents... " - Bmore action and... Storytelling?
- Sat mornings "Praphit's Last Word" - recap of nonsense/Asshole of the Week/Top Songs and Movies, and a praphitic last word
- every other Sunday "Music and Shiiiii" - whimsical music reviews and news
every other Sunday Afternoon "The Troof!" - a lil sumthin for my Christian brothers and sisters
And introducing "Murder Monday's!"
BLAOW BELOW:
Short Stories & Nonsense! -
Shark Wins 7
Turner and Sploosh 6
No, It's Snot 6
A Very Praphit Christmas
Paranormal Crapper 5
3rd Annual Praphit Bowl
Your Neighbors are Weird
So you think you can bowl 3
Gary Busey's PeePee time 3
Assholes on Assholes 2
Pablo's a Snitch
The Real Housewives of Baltimore City
Praphit Confessions Season 2: She wanted to hike... in my pants
Are you still hot? season 2
TB dates -
Quentin Tarantino
Lily Phillips
T-Pain
Barney
FIGHTS -
Melania Trump vs Ms Piggy
The Babadook vs It Follows
Doctor Doom vs Dr. Dre
Marvel Zombies vs The Crew of The Pitt
Supergirl vs Elmo
2025 Booty Wars Champion!
THE PRAPHAVERSE : )
-The Praphit Issue #1
-The Story of Gaseous Clay Issue #1 (Celine, Woman!, LIZ)
- EGO the DS issue #1
- The Praphit Issue #2 - "The Team-Up"
- Well Actually Man (and Carrie Underwood) - #1
- Praphit Comics Update #1 - BFP Powers!
2024 Comic stories:
Feb - BACK! SPLADOW!
2025 Comic Stories:
#10? - I Am Unavoidable
#11 - What's in the toilet?
#12 - "I'm not a scientist, but I'm awesome!"
*archives (pics)
As always, see praphit eyes for old content : )
PRAPHIT NEWS -
* Praphit forbids his studio people to go bowling, saying "It's gross!"
*Punishments are BACK!
*Praphit is now allowing 3 coughs/sneezes in the studio per day, as long as they're dry. More than 3 or wetness may result in your disappearance (not that he'd have anything to do with that, but... sometimes people go missing.)
*BEEF LIST (updated 4/25) - Trump, All Kate's with a K, most pastors, Ronald McDonald, white liberal bullies imposing their butt-hurtness on artists, IPAs, all of Reddit, all of Twitter ("X" whatever), MAGA people, all Lauren's, most Christopher's, Comcast, dentistry, Kendrick stans, UPS, USAA, Big Bird, Elon Musk, All Darren's, Trump AGAIN, the rich who get richer (except my Dodgers : ), Santa Claus, Most Melissa's, potholes, The Easter Bunny, and anyone who can't take a joke.
*Praphit is no longer interested in building a petting slaughter zoo.
*Praphit denies his interest in funding penis cream (the cream for those with fractured penises) BUT, he does give shout-outs, thoughts, and prayers to those men AND women out there with fractured penises.
*Praphit shuts down rumors that he is removing the studio bathrooms, and replacing them with a bucket, in order to save money.
*Praphit has officially coined the phrase "turning shit into monkey bread".
*Praphit is pursuing starting a super-charged-rocket-fueled race car league, exclusively for blind people.
*Praphit will continue to walk up and down the halls of the studio building, menacingly holding a baseball bat, asking who got him sick. BUT, he wants everyone to know that he's NOT mad... he just wants to know who did it.
* Praphit imposes tariffs on all workroom, breakroom, and bathroom supplies.
*Praphit denies his interest in starting a sushi restaurant called "Mutant Sushi", but confirms his interest in starting a Christian Fruity Cola Company called "Father Fizz" with such flavors as "Raspberry Repentance", "Priestly Pickle", "Prosperity Pineapple", and Hallelujah Honeydew".
* Praphit declares that Sydney Sweeney is the next Meryl Streep
*Praphit confirms that he is indeed buying a monster to unleash in the building. He wants to keep the work days exciting.
* Praphit Productions is seeking to buy the rights to French Fries.
*Praphit has recently displayed interest in turning Praphit Productions into a wrestling federation.
*Praphit advises that you never interfere with his coffee-drinking time-bliss... doing so could result in your immediate expiration. Interpret this however you'd like.
*Many have been inquiring whether or not Praphit Productions will get involved with a new company called "Build-A-Bitch". There has not yet been any comment.
* Anyone who places a suggestion in the suggestion box will definitely, totally, for sure NOT be chased into an alleyway and shanked
*Praphit Productions is seeking the rights to Nintendo's "Duck Hunt" to make a Live Action Movie starring Liam Neesom (Praphit's white daddy).
*Praphit has confirmed that IT IS indeed what it IS.
*And "Jack Harlow is ASS." - technically, Jack Harlow is no longer relevant enough to be the ASS of music anymore, but until we find a suitable replacement - JACK HARLOW IS STILL ASS
STICKITTOSTAN.COM -
There once was this pastor dude named Stan. We were going to serve together in worship to God.
He stopped believing in me as a partner for stupid reasons.
I forgive him, but... it's a thing that happened... it sucked.
Now, I'm more motivated to do the things we were going to do together.
Not out of spite, but out of a worshipful spirit that says "My God CAN do it, and He CAN use someone like me, even if the Stans of the world have given up on me."
I want to create a space for those types of stories as encouragement.
I'm not sure what that'll look like, but I'm starting here, and hopefully posting article/other's stories here (weekly) as encouragement to others.
LET'S STICK IT TO THE STANS OF THE WORLD :)
#1 - THE STAN : MY Stan
BITCH MOVE: Abandoning me (PRAPHIT) and our ministry together for dumbass reasons, then ghosting me.
MADE BETTER? : YES. Made me more vigilant not to be like these crappy pastors out here as it pertains to ministry
#2 - THE STAN: The Miami Heat
BITCH MOVE: Not paying Jimmy Butler the money he's earned, and trying to alpha dog him.
MADE BETTER?: TIME WILL TELL. But, he'll be heavily motivated to Stick It To his Stan when he gets on a new team.
#3 - THE STAN: Universal
BITCH MOVE: Everything involving the rap beef (concerning DRAKE)
MADE BETTER?: Yes! Tougher. Smarter. A better rapper. And as of today, released "Some Sexy Songs 4 U" with PARTYNEXTDOOR - and it's FIRE!
#4 - THE STAN: Racists
BITCH MOVE: HATING on Captain America: Brave New World - for reasons that include racism. A team of a black man, a Latino, and an Israeli woman kicking ass and being against the American president in the movie.
MADE BETTER? : YEP! This movie has made crazy bank world-wide!
#5 - THE STAN: NYPD
BITCH MOVE: Giving one of their officers shit for having a video of them twerking around a stripper role in a rap video leak. They're not exactly rallying around her.
MADE BETTER?: Time will tell. I haven't read any comments from her yet, but I think the whole thing is blown out of proportion. As long as she's a good cop, who cares. I live in Baltimore. Cops here do FAR worse things.
#6 - THE STAN: Sports Media
BITCH MOVE: Not giving Bronny James a chance or considering his difficult sitch to grow.
MADE BETTER?: Time will tell. But, he's definitely got potential. Who cares if LeBron used his influence to help him out; what parent wouldn't, if they had the opportunity?? I'm rooting for him. Not just for his sake, but also so the sports media will have to eat it :)
#7 - THE STAN: The writers of "The Last of Us" (spoiler alert)
BITCH MOVE: Kill Joel in the show like they do in the game... not changing things up and allowing him to spread his murderous, guilt ridden wings.
MADE BETTER?: Well, he's dead, BUT his ghost will haunt the show for the rest of its days unless they can find an actor of Pedro Pascal's caliber. SO TAKE THAT! STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE! BLAOW! :)
#8 - THE STAN: NBA fans and media
BITCH MOVE: not believing in The Knicks, and thinking that they're going to get beat down by The Celtics
MADE BETTER?: The Knicks used that disrespect to fuel their trip to the 2025 Eastern Conference Finals... bitches!
#9 - James Gunn!
#10 - THE STAN : QB evaluators
BITCH MOVE: "Evaluating" that Lamar Jackson would never be a good quarterback
MADE BETTER?: Well, he got big money, makes big plays, rocks big stats, won 2 MVP awards, and just might win a SuperBowl this season. So yeah... EAT IT, evaluators!
#11 - THE STAN: Pastor Josh
BITCH MOVE: Ghosting your Praphit due to some butthurtness (I guess... can't be sure cuz HE WAS GHOSTED)
MADE BETTER?: God made the praphit awesome. By grace he was awesome before he met Josh, and by grace he's now even more awesome.
#12 - THE STAN: The MCU's Hollywood
BITCH MOVE: Rejecting Wonder Man (before he was Wonder Man)
MADE BETTER?: DAMN SKIPPY - cuz he later became WONDER MAN! - and flew away with his lil buddy
#13 - THE STAN: Euphoria Critics
BITCH MOVE: giving Euphoria 41% on RT
MADE BETTER?: It's always been cringey. It's always been exploitive. It's always been a lie of what young people are really like? And the writing has always been terrible. It's great shameful content, and I love it! So yeah... SCREW YOU, STAN!
#14 - THE STAN: The NY KNICKS
BITCH MOVE: NO ONE believed in them, going into the playoffs - not even Knicks fans.
MADE BETTER?: Now EVERYONE will be happy for them as they're about to win it all!
MURDER MONDAYS!
#1 - The Blackout
#2 - Prices going up! Judgment dragging them down!
#3 - HELL?
#4 - MARYLAND MURDER MEAT
#5 - WASH YOUR HANDS!
#6 - Insurance butt
#7 - Pablo Gonna Get It
#8 - Zeal & Murder
#9 - Chili Dog Onion Breath
#10 - I smile at my Ax
#11 - They will be destroyed!
#12 - Murder Goose!
6/13/26
YO! So we're having an impromtu FIGHT NIGHT at the Bmore Studio this Sunday for THE WHITE HOUSE MMA ACTION!
email me if you're interested
randyJunesuicidemissiontrapwiscon
lastrandommayfingsteak1990s
6/10/26 -
Yo! TPT will be in the evening this Saturday! Just a heads up! SPLADOW!
Also - "Dranks with The Praphit" is cancelled this weekend. Sorry :(
QOTD
1) Do you know who Les Grossman is?
2) Would you rather have Les Grossman be president than Trump?
3) Should the San Antonio Spurs be ashamed of themselves?
4) Is Katie Taylor a cheater?
5) Is it rude to say "God Bless you" to an atheist who sneezes?
6/9/26 -
QOTD -
1) Do you think Trump went home and cried in his bed after being mercilessly booed in Madison Square Garden?
2) Is it possible to NOT check Cardi B out?
3) Do we need to teach the kids to cheat?
4) Is it possible to call yourself "A lover of the arts" and NOT be a snob?
6/8/26 -
QOTD -
1) Who would be the best fit to play Macho Man Randy Savage in a movie? A) The Rock? B) Nic Cage? C) Kristen Wiig? or D) Alan Ritchson?
2) If The Praphit quits P.Pro. he should become A) A magician who robs banks? B) A Luchador for the people? C) A drunken insurance salesman? or D) a beach bum?
3) Were you surprised that "Scary Movie" did better at the box office than "He-Man"?
4) Bigger sporting event - A) Knicks vs Spurs? B) FREEDOM 250?! or C) The World Cup?
5/28/26 -
QOTD -
1) Do you want a talking dog?
2) When breastfeeding your child, is it normal for hot sauce to squirt out instead of milk?
3) Why is Tucker Carlson's wife with Tucker Carlson? - A) his money and fame ? B) the manly way that he avoids any accountability for the divisive things he says ? or
C) his sexy resting confused face ?
4) Would you be interested in the cast from The Fast & Furious franchise to star in "The Passion of the Christ 2" ?
5/27/26 -
QOTD -
1) If while married, one finds out that their spouse is a bitch ass nigga, is that grounds for divorce?
2) Is Dr Cheyenne a real doctor?
3) Is Kevin Hart still "one of ours"?
5/26/26 -
Yo! Don't forget NAMICON 28th-30th :)
AND TWT this Friday at the Baltimore Studio.
Much love!
QOTD -
1) Is being in a sex scene with Sydney Sweeney the only thing you need on your resume?
2) Did Jacob Elordi really want to be in season 3?
3) Should Rue get slapped in every episode?
4) Who's more evil - Thanos or Alamo?
5) Is anyone better at what Jensen Ackles does than Jensen Ackles?
6) Do fake mustaches need to become a thing?
MayrandomsexsoundsDrake
5/13/26
Yo! Don't forget about DRANKS WITH THE PRAPHIT tomorrow night!
QOTD -
1) Would you rather work with someone with Eeyore Red Bull energy or someone with Crackhead Energy?
2) Can you be a good leader if you've got "bitch ass nigga" energy?
3) Should everyone who gets off of a cruise be immediately stripped, have their cheeks spread, and then be hosed-down AND up without mercy?
4) Does Kash Patel look A) drunk? B) scared that people think he's a fraud? C) confused why he still hasn't been fired for being a fraud? OR D) nervous that his family and friends will find out that he's been bitten by a zombie, cuz he knows that they've always wanted to kill him.
5/12/26 -
QOTD
1) Do you or anyone you know use the phrase "Deep Dog Dookie"?
2) Could you survive a season of "Survivor"?
3) Do you love all of your kids the same?
4) How about all of your hoes?
5) Does the Church need to quit being polite and start getting real?
5/11/26 -
QOTD
1) Bigger flex - A) David killing Goliath? B) Moses parting the Red Sea? C) Noah building the arch and gathering the animals? or D) Mary and Joseph raising God?
2) Are you the villain if you're covered in blood?
3) Would you at least ponder sexual favors to drink the BEST COFFEE OF ALL TIME?
randMaybrandBiblenuts
4/27 & 28
QOTD
1) Is there a market for Russell's Brand's Too Low-Cut shirts?
2) Anyone under the age of 70 who pulls out a thick Bible in any setting other than church needs to sit in time-out, --- yay or nay?
3) Do you want to date someone who's famous for twerking?
4) DO you want to buy ice cream from the same place that you buy gas?
5) Trump is A) A lil gay? B) so secure in his masculinity that there's no problem with him calling his staff "Really Attractive" and how safe they make him feel? or C) purposely hiring people around him that are so attractive that even the manliest of men must bow to their beauty and succulence?
6) Do you buy Zendaya as a drug addict? how about a drug dealer?
an arms dealer? what about a manager of strippers?
7) Would you ever ignore a person wearing a human toes necklace?
8) If the boobs are covered in ice cream, do they count?
4/29 -
QOTD -
1) Does parenthood make one more mature and responsible? or is that all bullshit?
2) Have you ever googled Skyrizi?
3) Should there be a Drug of the Year Award? (maybe called THE DRUGGIES?)
Aprrandallonelypoopie
4/15/26 -
QOTD -
1) Do turtles want to snuggle?
2) Comic book characters who most need a horror movie: A) The Mad Hatter? B) Mr. Sinister? C) Nightcrawler? or D) Carnage?
3) Is it hard to cultivate a mystique?
4) Should anyone be able to "assume command" at any time?
4/14/26 -
QOTD -
1) Is "Mother's Milk" a tough nickname?
2) If someone uses their penis to beat you up, and that scene gets recorded and posted, do you need to go into hiding forever?
3) Are Aquaman's powers actually pretty cool?
4) If you had super speed and you're in the process of running to do something illegal, would you stop running?
5) Are all sex scenes awkward to watch?
4/13/26 -
Yo! Don't forget about "Dranks with The Praphit!" this Friday! and "That Prayer Thang" this Saturday morning! Much love!
QOTD -
1) Are doctors allowed to say "titties"?
2) Is Praphit going to be able to resist a tickling balls joke that's just there waiting for him to make? If not, is that just plain sad?
3) Is it proper for one to call themselves a MILF/DILF?
4) Does anyone want to be a MILB/DILB?
5) Is rice overrated?
6) Is it finally time to crush whitey?